All In. Cop Out.

That's kind of how I feel right now. With what I have decided to do, there's no doubt, I'm going ALL IN. At the same time, I feel a bit like it's a COP OUT. After several weeks and a lot of thinking, researching, and discussion with my hubs (really, there wasn't much else for me to fill my time with since I wasn't exercising...or planning healthy meals...or cooking nutritious food), I've decided to try out the Medifast plan.

The program was originally created 20 years ago for patients who were preparing to undergo bariatric surgery and needed to lose weight (fairly quickly) and learn to eat restricted calories before the surgery. It's gotta be good if it was designed by doctors and, I quote, "recommended by over 20,000 doctors." Right? :-)

Here is a quick overview from their website.

THE MEDIFAST 5 & 1 PLAN

One simple plan, every day

The Medifast 5 & 1 Plan: Each day, you enjoy five Medifast Meals and one Lean & Green Meal.

Five Medifast Meals
Choose five Medifast Meals from over 70 different choices, including shakes, soups, stew, chili, oatmeal, eggs, fruit drinks, iced teas, hot beverages, crunch bars, pretzel sticks, cheese puffs, puddings, brownies, soft-serve, and pancakes.

One Lean & Green Meal
This includes a generous serving of lean protein along with three servings of non-starchy vegetables. You can choose dinnertime for your Lean & Green Meal, or enjoy it at any time that works with your schedule.

Basically, I'll eat 5 Medifast meals a day. Personally, I would hardly call them "MEALS". They are meal replacements consisting of bars, shakes, oatmeal, eggs, soups, and puffs. I hate oatmeal and fake eggs, so my options are even more limited. The puffs, well, we'll see. Supposedly, they will give me the satisfying crunch and semi-saltiness of the chips I so dearly love. Currently, I'm a skeptic on that one. The 6th meal will be a serving of a protein of my choosing and three servings of veggies. You eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day.

They also outline very comprehensive transition and maintenance phases, as they realize that no one will stay on this plan forever.

Here are some highlights that I find, oh, shall I say interesting?

• If you are not currently exercising, they suggest not beginning a new exercise regime for 2-3 weeks as you adjust to the new eating program and calorie restrictions. Am I really being told NOT to exercise? SIGN ME UP!!!
• For the first three days, you may feel tired, have headaches, and be irritable. Jay is soooo excited about that part. I told him it wouldn't be that different from any other day, when I already experience 2 out of 3 of those on a regular basis.

Biggest concerns:

• Starving to death.
• Missing "real" food.
• Farting. A. Lot. Apparently, there is a lot of soy products in the "meals" which often leads to a tad bit of gassiness. Another thing Jay is excited about.
• People thinking I am a pathetic loser, who can't just lose weight like a normal human being. Seriously, I am afraid of being judged, and I already keep telling myself all the things that I think people will think. "Well, it doesn't teach you healthy eating." "You can't stick to that forever." "Just do what everyone else does and eat right and exercise." On and on and on, these things go through my head. And, I wish it were that simple. But, when you have 50+ lbs to lose and feel like you are completely floundering and the finish line seems so very far away, it's hard to not grasp at straws and try something that is "taking the easy way out." Another thing that I hear in the endless soundtrack in my mind. I just really want a jump start.
• Failing. Again.

On a positive note, I went into a local Medifast Center last week, and they did a full body analysis. It included all sorts of things like the usual weight, body fat percentage, and BMI, but also some additional things like lean muscle mass, body water percentage, basal metabolic rate, skeletal weight. Some of the results made me feel just a wee bit better about myself.

• In the several weeks (actually, I've lost track at this point), probably a month, since I have fallen off the wagon (and, let's face it, gotten run over by it), I have only gained back 10 of the max 21 lbs I lost earlier in the year.
• Yes, I am overweight (duh), but I also have above average muscle mass. Could have fooled me! I was pretty sure I had converted to nothing but a lump of suet. Fat and Strong. Fat and Strong. That's me.
• Based on my skeletal and muscle mass, I don't need to lose as much weight as indicated by BMI standards in order to be healthy. This probably makes me happiest of all. As a 6' tall female, in order to be at a healthy BMI, I have to be at a ridiculous weight that I probably haven't seen since 9th grade, when I was not fat at all. It is nice to have other factors taken into consideration.

All this to say, tomorrow, I cop out and go all in.