Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Kris, I am sorry to tell you, you are not the biggest loser.

Well, I sure as hell feel like a big loser the way things have been going recently!

After re-reading my last two posts, I feel as though I am letting down my fans (a big shout out to all 5 of you). There really wasn't much humor in either post. For that, my friends, I am sorry. So, I decided to do a bonus post this week (LUCKY, LUCKY you) to tell you about my obsession with weight loss shows.

First, let me set the scene. While I watch most of these shows, I am sitting my fat ass on the couch eating something.

Tuesday night. Biggest Loser. Ice cream.

Nap time. Random DVR'd shows such as Heavy (A&E) or I Used to be Fat (MTV). Chips.

You get the picture.

Anyway, I LOVE these shows. As I sit there, stuffing my face with God only knows what, I think, "WOW, if these people can do it, I can do it too." And, of course, I boost myself up with rude thoughts (or sometimes spoken out loud to my husband) such as: "She is way fatter than me." "If that fatty can run, so can I." "I used to be an athlete, for God's sake." Nice, huh?

Each time, I watch, I am inspired to get off the couch (tomorrow, of course) and start working out like a mad woman. I have even gone so far as to research the cost of places like the Biggest Loser Resort and Hilton Head Health (from Heavy), and see if I can sign myself up for a week or so there. Too expensive, of course. Well then, I will join the Biggest Loser Club, buy all the cookbooks, jump start books, workout books, and DVDs they offer. This is not a joke...I did do this a couple years ago. (Worked wonders, as you can see.) Maybe I'll sign up for the meal plan. Who knows. The world is my oyster, with the right plan, I can do buy anything!

My addiction to weight loss shows (and their by-products) is nearly as bad as my addiction to food!

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