From "Couch to 5K" in 3 Months

It's time to get serious about the exercising. When I think back on the times that I felt best about myself, it was when I felt good about what my body was doing for me. Ironically, this doesn't necessarily equate to how I felt about the appearance of my body. In high school, I felt really good about what my body was able to accomplish: running 9 miles at cross country practice, playing center on the basketball team, winning games, and championships, and individual honors, rehabbing from a knee injury. Even though I thought I was "fat" at the time, I still felt good about the things my body could do, the determination I had, and the pride that came along with setting goals and reaching them. In college, I felt good about playing Division I basketball (even though it was hardly all I hoped it to be), running a mile in 6 min, benching pressing 75% of my body weight. And even though I felt good about what my body was doing, it was undermined by my coaches saying I needed to lose (more*) weight in order to "gain a step". (*Between my sophomore and junior year, June-August, I lost 20 lbs at the urging of my coaches, not easy to do on an already fit and not overweight body, only to return to pre-season training in August and be told I should have lost more...YEAH, and you wonder why I have issues?!?!)

Anyway, all this to say that I feel good when my body is accomplishing something, moving toward and reaching a goal. Even though I may not like how it looks, I like how it feels. I like feeling strong.

So, with that in mind, I have set a goal (along with my husband) to run a 5k on November 13. The week of August 14th, I am going to start the Couch to 5k running program. A 9-week, 3 days/week, program (I'll have 12-weeks) that eases you, step by step, into running a 5k. I plan on using the treadmill program outlined here. Why wait until August 13th? Because I feel like I am starting over with Medifast after my two-week vacation, and they suggest not starting any new exercise for the first 2 weeks as your body adjusts to the new lower calorie intake.

There it is. All in writing. For the world (or at least 5 or 6 people) to see. Therefore, I must follow through. Right? Right!

Waiting for the Weight

After a nearly 2-week eating frenzy, I have decided not to weigh-in. I know I've gained weight (probably 10+ lbs), and I don't see any reason to depress myself with the number. Today, I am back on plan, and will give myself one full week before I weigh myself. I figure that by then, the number won't be as staggering. This is uncharted territory for me as I tend to live (aka stay positive and on plan) and die (aka get depressed and go off plan) by the scale.

Here are the things I already know without having to weigh myself:

1) I feel bloated and puffy.

2) I feel lethargic.

3) I'm grumpy.

4) I did not enjoy stuffing my face with anything I could possible think of just because I wasn't "on my diet".

5) I did enjoy eating the things I really wanted and had planned to eat ahead of time.

6) I still have a long way to go in gaining control over my eating and my emotions and habits associated with it.

I am not beating myself up about this. I am using it as a learning experience, moving on, and continuing on this journey!

Where Did I (my diet) Go on Vacation?

Hell in a hand basket, that's where.

I have gone completely off course. I suspect that by the time I return home next Monday, I will have gained 10 lbs. Just a rough estimate.

Honestly, I am not that distraught by it. I know I'll get back on track when I get home. But, I just can't deal with it right now.

In spite of that, vacation has been really great!

I'll check in again next Monday with the damage that I have done while away.

18 Day Challenge (Day 18)

Eighteen days ago, I said this in my blog post, "There are 18 days until I go on vacation to the beach for 2.5 weeks, and I am giving myself an 18 day challenge to hit the 60 lb mark before vacation. That is 8.4 lbs in 18 days, which is almost a half a pound a day (according to a quick calculation, I am currently averaging .6/day), kind of daunting, but I'm still going to try."

Now, it is 18 days later, and the official start of my vacation. I am down 2 lbs since July 4th, bringing me to a total loss of 60.6 lbs!!! I'm proud of that. I'm feeling confident going into vacation that I won't go completely off my rocker eating like a maniac. A few planned indulgences. A lot of fun with my family. I am one happy MF-er right now. Medifast-er, people, Medifast-er, I would never use such language!

18 Day Challenge (Day 13)

With just 5 days to go, I am only 1.4 lbs away from hitting my goal of 60 lbs lost before my beach vacation! Technically, I am leaving for vacation on Thursday evening, but I don't consider the official start of vacation until Saturday.

This week, I felt like I really overcame some of my normal triggers (read psychoses) that often lead me down a very slippery slope into bingeing. As you may or may not know, I weigh in on Fridays and Mondays (Monday is the official weekly weigh in day). When I weighed in this Friday, I was only down .4 lbs. This really pissed me off because I had been unusually hungry all week, but stayed the course. So, the hunger, plus the .4 lbs, plus the fact that it was a holiday weekend, could have easily tsunamied into 3+ days of stuffing my face with anything and everything I wanted because what difference would it make anyway...in the past.

I was really glad to have made this little challenge for myself because it helped me stay focused. I just kept thinking, "If you do this, you will not hit your goal. And, more importantly, you'll go into vacation feeling like $hit about yourself and will likely use that as an excuse to eat with reckless abandon the entire vacation, potentially undoing weeks OR MORE of hard work." And that was that. I didn't talk myself into (or out of, sometimes, I don't really know which way it is working) using the holiday or the hunger or the scale as an excuse to binge. I added a little extra protein and veggies over the weekend, which helped with the hunger, and I stuck to the plan and ended up feeling really good about myself for doing so...even before I weighed myself this morning.

Of course the fact that the scale showed a 3.2 loss for the week certainly helped me stay positive!

Last week completed a full 3-months of Medifast for me. In those 12 weeks, I have lost exactly 50 lbs, an average of 4.16 lbs per week. Now, I know the naysayers (and I know they are out there) are thinking that I'm losing weight too quickly and not learning how to eat normally and blah blah blah. Well, to them I say, I AM learning. I am learning that I don't NEED food to comfort, celebrate, soothe, relax, etc. I am (re)learning how great it feels to be healthier and feel better about myself.

Do I know that the hardest part of this whole journey is yet to come, AFTER I hit my goal weight, and start the process of transitioning off Medifast and learning to maintain? YES, I do. And, I am ready for the challenge when the time comes.

Weight Loss
Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs (13.6, 3.2, 4, 4.2)
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs (2.4, 3.2, 6, +4.8)
Medifast Month 3: 18.2 lbs (9.4, 1.8, 3.8, 3.2)
Medifast Total (12 weeks): 50 lbs
Total in 2011: 58.6 lbs