I Stumbled...

"In the end, it all comes to choices to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones."

Is it weird that a 6 lb weight loss last week kind of put me over the edge...in a bad way? It was crazy. Was I happy about it? Yes. But, I was more anxious than happy. I had a constant stream of negative thoughts in my head. How did this happen? It's going to show up on the scale next week. That can't be right. I'm going to have a bad week. It was so strange. Well, I guess not so strange for someone who has some "issues."

So, what did I do? I started weighing myself everyday. I was so sure the scale was going to go up. Let's take a look at how that went:

Monday (official weigh-in day): down 6

Tuesday: up 3

Wednesday: down 2

Thursday: up 1

Thursday night: chicken wings and italian sub

Friday morning through afternoon: back on track

Friday night: Chinese food

Saturday morning: back on track

Saturday lunch through dinner: sandwich, chips, fruit, pizza

Sunday: F*&$ it, why bother even trying to get back on track today. Ate crap the whole day.

That really didn't go so well, now did it. I don't know what happened. Somehow that 6 lb loss and the up and down of the daily weighing, screwed up my mental state. In a big way. Some people are diligent "daily weighers." I have never been because it messes with my head way too much. I've been weighing twice a week. Fridays and Mondays. The crazy thing is, my weight could go up every Tuesday, but I wouldn't know because I don't weigh myself again til Friday! Who knows what the daily pattern is. Of course, I didn't take that into consideration when I stepped on the scale on Tuesday...and Wednesday...and Thursday.

What happened on the scale on Monday after my train went off the track Thursday through Sunday? I really didn't even want to step on the scale, but I faced it. I mentally prepared myself for a 5 lb gain. It was 4.8.

So that sucked. But, here is where I see progress. I didn't use that as an excuse to continue with the derailment. Really, this must be something that only fat people do. Who would see a weight gain as a reason to eat? Fatties, that's who. But, I didn't do that this time. Monday, I got back on track. For real this time. Now, it's Thursday, and I'm still on track. This probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but take it from me, someone who has done this a time or two, a few days off track, usually spirals out of control into a week, two weeks, a month...etc.

Another lesson learned is that I felt gross those few days. I was lethargic and grumpy, and the food didn't make me feel any better nor did it taste that good. If I am going to go off plan (that's dieters' lingo for stuffing your face like a cow), it is going to be for something I really want, something tasty, and delicious, not crap food.

Maybe I'm actually learning a few things.

Weight Loss
Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs (13.6, 3.2, 4, 4.2)
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs (2.4, 3.2, 6, +4.8)
Medifast Total (8 weeks): 31.8 lbs
Total in 2011: 40.4 lbs