I should be saying "YAY me!" Which I am saying a lot more than I have in recent memory. My clothes fit better, I've gone down 2 pant sizes, my double chin is almost gone, my rings are lose. It's obvious that I am losing weight...to me. And that's the part I hate. When you have so much weight to lose, the average passer-by on the street (and, yes, I am sure that everyone is checking me out when they pass me by!!), still sees me as fat. They don't know that I've already lost 36 lbs.
Even most people who see me regularly, don't really know how much weight I've lost (unless they are closet readers of my blog...I know you're out there!!). And, they certainly don't know how much I have left to lose. Here's an example. At work the other day, someone asked me if I was losing weight. YES, yes, I am, thank you very much! So nice to know that it is noticeable. But, I kid you not, she could hardly contain her surprise when I told her how much weight I had lost (which was last week and I said about 30 lbs). The surprise was not, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight." It was was shock, "Wow, you've lost 30 lbs and are still that overweight."
Some people who have lost 30+ lbs are completely transformed, even if they still have another 20 to lose. They've already gone from fat to thin. Not me, I would still be considered by most to be a "big girl." A label that I don't know will ever elude me at 6 ft tall and a goal weight that is a good 10 - 20 lbs above the "healthy" weight range for my height.
Alas, I forge on...
OK, but still fabulous, yes!? My friend at home lost a lot of weight (a few times) and I had a hard time complimenting her. 1. I honestly am not someone who 'sees' this stuff. Really. and 2. I didnt want her weight (gain or loss) to be the focus of our talks. Now, I am sitting here, thinking, 'Jeesh. I should have told K how great she looked... " but I guess I didnt want to focus on it as if it were more important than, say, her friendship, her smile, etc..
ReplyDeleteOY. We women think too much. I think it's a sensitive subject. I would most def. not say anything to a coworker, to be honest. AM I helping!!?? I am trying to... delete this post if not!!!
xo Ms Kris Bryant, funny, tall, strong, fabulous friend!!!
The stranger walking by on the street may only see you as you are at that moment and may judge you on the way you look at that time. But you know what? They don't know how far you have come. They don't know that you are a great mom, wife, daughter and friend. They don't know that you are really funny and have a great heart. Who cares what those people think. The people that know you and love you are very proud of your progress so far and know you will continue to do great. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteI find myself in the same situation.. I've lost close to 40 lbs and am still fat. But, I feel better, smile more, laugh more, etc. I wish people would say.."wow, you look great!" But all they see is the me now..they have nothing to compare it to.
ReplyDeleteTake it one day at a time...and hey, "You look great! 32 lbs is huge! Keep it up!"
Thanks for all your wonderful comments! It is so unfortunate that I seek validation from outside of myself and continue to worry about what other people are thinking when they seem. It is definitely something I am working on.
ReplyDeleteI also realize that my writing did not exactly convey what I was trying to say. I didn't mean that I expect people, friends or coworkers, to comment to me about my weight loss. It was just frustrating to have someone notice and comment, and then seem surprised that I could have lost as much weight as I have and still be as overweight as I am. (Geez, that doesn't seem to make sense either.) Anyway...that being said, I do feel better about myself, which really is what matters.