Married Female in Search of "A" Passion

It's sad for me to say this, but I don't think I have a passion. Just to be clear, I don't mean this in the, shall I say, romantical way. That is passion. I am talking about "A" passion. What's even more sad, is I think it's been well over a decade since I have had one. Ever since my passion for playing basketball faded (read: was destroyed by my diabolical college coach) around my sophomore or junior year of college, I've never really found anything to take it's place. There's plenty of things I like, even love, but would I say they are my passion? No.

What exactly is a passion? Well, to me, it's some thing or activity that fuels you in some way. Something you are drawn to. Something you thrive on. Something that fills you with emotion. Something that almost becomes a part of you, perhaps the thing by which you define yourself. For some people it's a career, a hobby, a sport, a talent, a role in life. I can say with 100% certainty that this was basketball for me. It was who I was. But, who am I now?

That's what I am trying to figure out.

• I like to cook.
• I like to write.
• I like to read.
• I am a mother, a wife, a daughter. I LOVE my family.
• I am a teacher.
• I like music and movies and sports, but I couldn't even tell you who my favorite artist, actor, or sports figure is.

But, I can honestly say that I don't think any of those things are my passion. Should I feel guilty that being a mom is not my passion? I don't know if I should, but I do, just a bit and that's hard to admit. Teaching is what has probably come closest as a passion for me. And, in the right environment and with the right subject matter, it quite possibly could be. When I was teaching a community college course in Sociology, and we had a great discussion where I felt like people's eyes were opened and students saw something from a different perspective, it really invigorated me. I felt a rush, an excitement, a sense of pride. THAT is what I am searching for again. THOSE feelings. The same feelings I had when I played basketball.

As my weight loss has become more noticeable, people have begun asking me my "secret". And, I get excited to tell them. Not necessarily about the product itself, but for what I know is possible for them. I know what it's like to feel like you have tried everything to lose weight and nothing seems to work. I know what it's like to feel terrible about yourself, to think that every time you walk into a room people are looking at you, and every time you walk out they're talking about you. So, it excites me to tell people it's possible, that they can find something that works for them. Could this be my next passion? Possibly. Which is why I am thinking about becoming a Take Shape for Life Health Coach. (more on that another time since this post is already getting ridiculously long)

The other thing I am really excited about is this Couch to 5K running program. I went out and bought some good running shoes this weekend, and I don't think I've ever been so excited about a pair of sneakers in my life. I feel like they are just waiting to take me on this amazing journey to discover (or re-discover) a part of me that's been tucked away for quite some time. That part of me that can and wants to push myself, to feel that adrenaline rush, and sense of accomplishment. And, I also want to do this to be able to let other people know that they can do it too.

So, maybe, just maybe, this can all become part of my new passion. Helping people and teaching them how to lose weight, and be healthy, and feel good about themselves, not because I read how to do it in a book or took a class, but because I did it myself. And that is my first step in searching out this passion. Doing it myself. For myself.