Too Big for My Britches

What a week...what a bad week. I don't know what happened. After the post-wedding eating frenzy last Sunday, I did get back on track and stayed there for all of 3 days. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe all the compliments at the wedding and the nice pictures and my nifty before & progress pictures went to my head? Getting too big for your britches is not a good place to be when trying to lose weight. After all, my britches are supposed to be getting too big for me. Maybe I started to get a little complacent, too comfortable. Or maybe it was just the impending hurricane. Something about low pressure systems make me stock up on junk food and wine and eat/drink whatever I want. Whether it's a blizzard or a hurricane, when the barometer starts to fall so does my willpower.

Anyway, enough analyzing what did and did not happen last week, and on to what I am going to do about it. First, I did not weigh in this morning. Obviously, My Thurs-Sun eating frenzy impacted the scale in a negative way. I am not in denial; I just don't need the scale to tell me what I already know. Second, I started back on plan this morning.

Finally, on Thursday September 1st, I am starting a new personal challenge. I will call it my 30-DAY OPENS challenge. That stands for 30-days On Plan, Exercising and....No Scale. NO SCALE!!! That's right, I am going to weigh myself on Sept 1, and I will not do so again until Sept 30. This may be the hardest part of the challenge for me. But, I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale. I use it to reward and punish myself. Everybody is different. My blogging friend Patra from The Red Dress Report will probably keel over dead when she reads this as she is a committed daily weigher. On the other hand, fellow blogger, Dawn over at A New Dawn for Me hasn't weighed herself AT ALL, NOT ONCE as she has shed 6 pant sizes. I really admire her for that.

If I am staying on plan and doing the Couch to 5K program 3x per week, I will be able to measure my success based on my commitment to those goals and how I feel. And, if I am doing those things, I think I will be feeling pretty good. The other thing is that many people who do Medifast find that their weight loss slows down when they start exercising regularly, and I don't want that to discourage me. After all, the ultimate goal of all of this is to become a healthy person with a healthy lifestyle, which obviously needs to involve exercise.

I will check in again after my weigh-in on September 1st as I commence my OPENS challenge.

I'd love to hear about your relationship with the scale. Are you a daily weigher? Weekly? Monthly? Never?

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol...

It feels like I have missed a week of blogging because I have so much to update on. So, here we go...

Before & After

Check out my new page with Before & After pictures. At this point, they are actually Before & Progress pictures since I haven't yet reached my goals. You can click on the Before & After tab across the top, or just click here.

Couch to 5K

Last Thursday, I successfully complete Week 1. Overall, I felt really good. It's funny, in recent years, I thought I had trouble running because I was getting older, had bad knees, and hadn't done it in so long. WRONG. I had trouble running because I was fat. I think the last time I ran was back at the beginning of March (or about 50 lbs ago). I really struggled, thumping along, feeling like a bull in a china shop. Now, even though I don't yet have the cardio to sustain a long run, I can run with ease, feel "light" on my feet, can find a rhythm. And, let me tell you, it feels good!!

Yesterday I began Week 2. I felt good with the longer run intervals, and I am not sore at all today. Here's the Week 2 workout.

• Brisk 5 min warm-up walk
• Alternate 90 sec of jogging and 2 min of walking for 20 min
• 5 min cool-down walk

Wedding

On Saturday, my cousin got married. For weeks, I have been deliberating how I was going to handle this event. What was I going to eat? Would I drink? I finally decided that I would stick as close to my eating plan as possible, but I would partake in a couple tasty beverages. And, that is exactly what I did...well, sort of. Ate my Medifast all day leading up to the reception, drank my water, brought my snacks, and was able to make a Lean & Green meal out of the salad, salmon, and zucchini on the dinner buffet. So, what went wrong? Perhaps the turning point was when I said to the bartender, "I'll have a rum and Diet Coke. Make it a double." :-) And, so it went as I danced the night away (working off those calories, right?!).

I never felt like I was drunk, but I definitely woke up feeling hung over. And, now, this leads to my next entry...

Mind Games

Waking up on Sunday morning, there was only one thing I knew for sure. I needed GREASE, and I needed it ASAP. You all do know that the only cure for a hangover is greasy fast food, right? So, here was my plan. I would weigh myself, see that I had gained some weight from my alcohol consumption, write off the week, and go get my fast food. Onto the scale I stepped, only to find that I was down 2 lbs. WHAT?!?! Did I really dance THAT much?

Now I needed a new game plan. So, I re-framed my thinking to, "Well, I was already thinking I would write this week off, and since I am down two pounds, I may as well go ahead and eat what I want, gain those two pounds back, and write the week off anyway." Crazy, I know. But, that is exactly what I did. I ate crappy fast food and carry out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The psychoses doesn't end there....

Weigh-in

I decided to record my -2 as my official weigh-in for the week (it was only off by a day, right?), not weigh myself on Monday (my official weigh-in day), so I wouldn't see the damage from my one-day binge, and start the next week as if none of this happened. And, that is what I have done. Right back on track. And, in case you were wondering, I felt absolutely disgusting on Monday. I was lethargic and puffy and dehydrated, but if you want to know the truth, I don't regret it. Maybe 3 meals was a bit much, but I wouldn't have traded those Sonic tater tots for anything on Sunday morning! And, I think I am beginning to see that one day off track doesn't mean the end of working toward my goals.

Weight Loss
Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs
Medifast Month 3: 18.2 lbs
Medifast Month 4: 1.4 lbs
Medifast Month 5: (2.8, 3.6, 2, )
Medifast Total (19 weeks): 59.8 lbs
Total in 2011: 68.4 lbs

C25K W1D1

For those of you not in the know, that title is Couch to 5K, Week 1, Day 1.

Sunday night, I set out my workout clothes and shoes, along with my clothes for work, and I went to bed at a reasonable time. I was shooting for 10, made it by 10:30. Set my alarm for 4:55 and went to bed with all the eager anticipation that one feels when they have to get up really early to leave for vacation. Seriously. You know what I'm talking about. That feeling of excitement mixed with nervousness about oversleeping. That's exactly how I felt.

I got out of bed promptly, got changed, brushed my teeth, chugged a glass of water, filled my water bottle and got on the treadmill. Turned on my app and podcast, and got started.

All of Week 1 consists of the same workout:

Brisk 5-min warm-up walk.

Alternate 60 sec of jogging and 90 sec of walking for a total of 20 min.

5-min cool down walk

The workout was great. So manageable. I'm sure I need to play with my pacing. Maybe someone who runs/walks frequently on a treadmill could offer insight. I warmed up and cooled down at 3.5 mph. Did the walk intervals at 4.0 and the run intervals at 5.0, which is only a 12 min mile. I am thinking I should shoot for 6.0, which is a 10 min mi. I felt really comfortable doing it. One annoying thing was that the app I got and the podcast weren't the same. The app had 9 run intervals and the podcast had 8. I did the 9 because it seemed to be more accurate time wise since the run/walk intervals were supposed to last about 20 min. With 9 run intervals, it came out to 21 min. Tomorrow, I think I'll skip the podcast and just use the app. Now, I just need to find some good workout music to put on. Looking forward to tomorrow's workout. Same time, same place.

Weigh-in: Also, in case you are wondering, I lost 3.6 lbs this week! I am trying to mentally prepare for a slow down on the scale as I add-on the exercise and start building up some muscle. We'll see how this week goes.

Weight Loss
Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs
Medifast Month 3: 18.2 lbs
Medifast Month 4: 1.4 lbs
Medifast Month 5: (2.8, 3.6 , , )
Medifast Total (17 weeks): 57.8 lbs
Total in 2011: 66.4 lbs

Married Female in Search of "A" Passion

It's sad for me to say this, but I don't think I have a passion. Just to be clear, I don't mean this in the, shall I say, romantical way. That is passion. I am talking about "A" passion. What's even more sad, is I think it's been well over a decade since I have had one. Ever since my passion for playing basketball faded (read: was destroyed by my diabolical college coach) around my sophomore or junior year of college, I've never really found anything to take it's place. There's plenty of things I like, even love, but would I say they are my passion? No.

What exactly is a passion? Well, to me, it's some thing or activity that fuels you in some way. Something you are drawn to. Something you thrive on. Something that fills you with emotion. Something that almost becomes a part of you, perhaps the thing by which you define yourself. For some people it's a career, a hobby, a sport, a talent, a role in life. I can say with 100% certainty that this was basketball for me. It was who I was. But, who am I now?

That's what I am trying to figure out.

• I like to cook.
• I like to write.
• I like to read.
• I am a mother, a wife, a daughter. I LOVE my family.
• I am a teacher.
• I like music and movies and sports, but I couldn't even tell you who my favorite artist, actor, or sports figure is.

But, I can honestly say that I don't think any of those things are my passion. Should I feel guilty that being a mom is not my passion? I don't know if I should, but I do, just a bit and that's hard to admit. Teaching is what has probably come closest as a passion for me. And, in the right environment and with the right subject matter, it quite possibly could be. When I was teaching a community college course in Sociology, and we had a great discussion where I felt like people's eyes were opened and students saw something from a different perspective, it really invigorated me. I felt a rush, an excitement, a sense of pride. THAT is what I am searching for again. THOSE feelings. The same feelings I had when I played basketball.

As my weight loss has become more noticeable, people have begun asking me my "secret". And, I get excited to tell them. Not necessarily about the product itself, but for what I know is possible for them. I know what it's like to feel like you have tried everything to lose weight and nothing seems to work. I know what it's like to feel terrible about yourself, to think that every time you walk into a room people are looking at you, and every time you walk out they're talking about you. So, it excites me to tell people it's possible, that they can find something that works for them. Could this be my next passion? Possibly. Which is why I am thinking about becoming a Take Shape for Life Health Coach. (more on that another time since this post is already getting ridiculously long)

The other thing I am really excited about is this Couch to 5K running program. I went out and bought some good running shoes this weekend, and I don't think I've ever been so excited about a pair of sneakers in my life. I feel like they are just waiting to take me on this amazing journey to discover (or re-discover) a part of me that's been tucked away for quite some time. That part of me that can and wants to push myself, to feel that adrenaline rush, and sense of accomplishment. And, I also want to do this to be able to let other people know that they can do it too.

So, maybe, just maybe, this can all become part of my new passion. Helping people and teaching them how to lose weight, and be healthy, and feel good about themselves, not because I read how to do it in a book or took a class, but because I did it myself. And that is my first step in searching out this passion. Doing it myself. For myself.

Just a Weigh-in

Just a quick post with today's weigh-in. Down 2.8! YAY!

Planning a longer post later in the week. Stay tuned...

Weight Loss
Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs
Medifast Month 3: 18.2 lbs
Medifast Month 4: 1.4 lbs
Medifast Month 5: (2.8, , , )
Medifast Total (16 weeks): 54.2 lbs
Total in 2011: 62.8 lbs

Back to the Future

This morning I hopped into my DeLorean and traveled back in time three weeks. Remember three weeks ago when I hit the 60 lbs lost mark? When I was about to start my vacation eating in moderation treating myself to a few indulgences? When I was drinking my gallon + per day of water? Well, today, I am right back there (within .6 lbs). On, July 9, I was down 60.6 lbs. Today, I am down 60 lbs!!

While I don't know exactly how much I gained on my binge, I did sneak onto the scale about 5 days in and was already up 6 lbs. That's when I decided I should stop weighing myself. Funny, I didn't decide that was when the binge should end. I can say with a good amount of certainty that I was up at least 10 lbs by the end of it.

This week, I was 100% back on the Medifast plan, and I am glad it paid off. I must admit, I am getting restless. I want to start making more real food again and figuring out how to make healthier choices. With the success of this week, it helps me recommit myself to the plan.

Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't have that fleeting thought of "what if". What if I hadn't spent the past three weeks gaining and losing the same weight to only break even? What if I had lost 11.4 lbs this month instead of 1.4? I'd be at 70 lbs instead of 60 lbs. So, yes, I have had that thought. BUT, and this is where the progress comes in, it really has only been a fleeting thought, nothing I am dwelling on.

Here's to a great month!

Weight Loss

Pre-Medifast: 8.6 lbs
Medifast Month 1: 25 lbs
Medifast Month 2: 6.8 lbs
Medifast Month 3: 18.2 lbs
Medifast Month 4: 1.4 lbs
Medifast Total (16 weeks): 51.4 lbs
Total in 2011: 60 lbs